Monday, January 30, 2012

Home Alone


In any healthy relationship, sooner or later, often or rarely the soul inside you craves to be a lone wolf. One such time, I confessed to BH, that I needed sometime for myself and co-incidentally he had some work in Bengaluru the same week.

He left, and for the next few minutes
I danced around like a monkey, switched the music on to its maximum volume, threw a vessel down on the floor, *BANG*, (Thank God my neighbours were on a vacation!) I enjoyed such little freedoms :)

Day 1
Cleaned every nook and corner. Made our home dust-free.
Watched a horror-movie, which BH would NOT have allowed me to watch. Well, that night I heard weird sounds which made me check every room and every closet to make sure no one was lurking there. I slept with a thunderous heartbeat.


Day 2
Go hubby time. Come hobby time. Did water painting, and this is what I came up with. I am no professional. Use of colors make me happy.


Ofcourse, I read books.


Day 3
I was bored to death to cook for just myself. I cooked once in the morning, ate that in the afternoon and then again in the night. There was no-one to appreciate my cooking.
There was no cloth to pick-up from the sofa/bed/table/chair. No wet towels to dry. No 'remote' fights. No-one to peep into what I was reading.




Day 4
I was dull and feeling low despite good-books, clean home etc. Was I missing clothes lying around? small fights? Wet-towels? All these imperfections made my life worth living? And that is when I realized Being imperfect is just "perfect"!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pondering over these series of incidents threw light on a few thoughts which criss-crossed my mind.

We may have been born to be together for life, but what we should not forget is that we were born ALONE separately. So, when the basic penchant for solitude is rewarded, happiness ensues. How long? That depends. For me it was 2-3 days.

It is quite common in a relationship for anyone to give up a part of themselves to make a life together. As I have understood "giving space" and "leaving alone" are two different things. Giving space is "Being alone-together" and leaving alone is the absolute "alone". There maybe people who think differently.

An individual changes everyday. Sometimes, there is growth or decay which go unnoticed in the routine of day-to-day lives. Such changes which are a part of you now, need timely attention. Taking some time out to dream, create, re-invent, rejoice our-self will help us grow into individuals who we can recognize and be satisfied with.

So, whenever you need time for yourself. This is the Mantra.
Communicate. Unwind. Nurture.

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Day 5
And BH is back.
*Loud voice heard in the evening*
Tigers piss on the trees to mark their territory and you mark yours by strewing your clothes all around!

113 comments:

  1. Lovely post Sahana! The joy of togetherness has been best expressed:)

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    1. Hey Sahana,

      Where are you no response for the comment and no new blogs!!!

      waiting for you!!!! Come back soon!!!

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    2. Was holidaying Ramya! :) Thanks for this comment. Made me feel so good. :) Will post one soon.

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  2. So true. Most of the times I feel I should be alone, but living alone is tough, and just like you, I can manage only couple of days! Thoughtful post. Where's Bunni?

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    1. Nice to know that Jenny. Bunni was with me. For now, I cannot expect her to be away from me for sometime.. :P

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  3. Beautifully written post.. Solitude is something every one asks and craves for nothing is more beautiful than living together.. Loved ur insightful words.. Every word makes sense :D

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    1. Thank you dear. Solitude is a gift to know clear cobwebs in the mind.

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  4. lol......simple but nice .....i loved ur simplicity in writing ..

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  5. agree with every word Sahana very nicely said
    'being alone together' that's a beautiful term you coined there :)

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    1. Thank you Sujatha. I was surprised myself when I coined that word as I wrote. Critical review is what something I get from you Sujatha.

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  6. :) interesting post there. Whenever I am alone I am mostly in a contemplative mood...and often try to read, tweet or blog to keep myself that way :) else yea I might also end up cleaning me room...:))

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    1. Thank you. Wow! People who stay with you would love to leave you alone whenever the room needs to be cleaned. :P

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  7. Agree with it Sahana! I too enjoy those couple of hours of being alone occasionally... With so many ppl at home all the time, these little breaks really help me :)
    BTW, where was Bunni?

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    1. Nice to know that Sum. In your situation it is even more a blessing. Bunni was with me. Aatakkuntu lekkakkilla :)

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  8. ROFL ;) I remember the scene from sex and the city, "Taking day off" :D
    Yes I truly understand how you feel soon after the 10th min of being alone!!!

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    1. Now, I want to watch that movie. 10th minute? Wow! I bet you will miss talking to people.. No?

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  9. The first painting is amazing :) Nice post :D

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  10. Even I do the same dancing thing when my parents leave me alone at home.
    At times I even jump on the sofa :P *just to satisfy the kid inside me*

    You mentioned the small nitty gritties so nicely..

    :) :) :) :)

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    1. :-D Spot on. Satisfying the kid. That is the main point there.
      Thank you for your wonderful opinion :)

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  11. I don't know if I have got some problem.. cos never ever in my life, i wanted 'my space'. I always want to be with someone. during hostel days, i used to sit in other gals' rooms if my rommies went out. I hate being alone, even for a minute.

    Now, wen John gets late at work, i go to neighbors and play with the kids. I always wondered when people say about taking some time for themselves. Have never done that!!!!

    PS. Did you actually threw that vessel down??? ;))))

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    1. Probably you have still not encountered that situation Jane. Touch wood. Or you are a person like you mentioned above. :-D

      Oh yes! I did throw the vessel down, did a lot more things, that needs to be censored.

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  12. Forgot to mention... I luvvvvvveeee this template of yours :) Its superb.. especially the pictures dancing ;)))))

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    1. Thank you Jane! Keeping things dynamic makes me feel that my blog has life.. :P

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  13. I agree, giving space and living alone are two different things. Very cute post :):)

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    1. Thank You Harsha for agreeing with me and reading through the post. Appreciate it.:)

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  14. Wonderful post Sahana!!!! Loved the "Mantra".... Beautiful paintings!!!!

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    1. Thanks a lot Attige :) Your comments are so valuable :)

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  15. Ha ha!! Interesting post. Liked the line "There was no cloth to pick-up from the sofa/bed/table/chair"! Many a times i wonder why can't men have some interesting or attractive ways to indicate their presence at home ;-)

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    1. I know! Why can't they get creative and surprise us with the beauty the way their work :D

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  16. The painting of that lady is so beautiful! More than anything i loved the expression on her face and the "kanakambara" flowers.

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    1. Thank you Sharada. Your expertise comment motivates me always :)

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  17. Excellent post. loved the words and paintings as well :)

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    1. Thank you for reading through the post and commenting :)

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  18. Nice and simple, Sahana... Very good one, indeed... :)

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  19. umm.. a little alone-time while together is definitely enriching to the soul..

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    1. Right Bhargavi. It works like the refresh button on the computer :)
      :

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  21. My ex and I we used to get on each others nerves..the boundaries were so unclear..that was one reason it din work out..space is so important..and like your BH, even I mark my territory the same way :D

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  22. Replies
    1. Thanks for reading through the post Nona! Appreciated.

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  23. Very interesting post and a worthy one...:) These lines are just wonderful, "Giving space is "Being alone-together" and leaving alone is the absolute "alone". So so true, God bless you both....:)

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    1. Giving time for oneself is so important Prashanth. That feeling is what brought this post. Thank you for reading the post, liking and expressing your views :)

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  24. oh yes life is always beautiful when we share .. although i must say space is also required .. but sharing is a blisssssssssssssss :)

    Bikram's

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    1. Rightly said Bikram. "Sharing is caring and caring is happiness." But, at the same time space keeps the pace of life smooth. :)

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  25. Oh such a lonely post.. I guess sometimes you unwind when left alone and that is needed once in a while. Nice to have you jump and thump. Ahhh! Where was Bunni??

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    1. :-D It is very much required Ashwini.. Jumping and acting like a monkey.. bringing the self out of you is a satisfying experience! Bunni was with me.. AatakkunTu lekkakke illa :D

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  26. :D I just played see-saw with the header of the post :D Love the template...Now I will read :)

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    1. :D See.. My blog is a play ground now.. :D

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  27. :D I am a sucker for lonely time too and I got a lot in past six months. Stayed all day home alone and it was peace not to be with anyone but myself, my thoughts and what not. Cleaning is so healing :) I love cleaning the house, it works like a stress buster for me...not always though :(

    Cheers
    ~ Chintan

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    1. Ahh.. Cleaning will clean up the mind too. Refresh, energize our mind. And sometimes, it is boring to do that too :D Especially when no one is watching over.

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  28. Lucid. If feelings and thoughts are colors, you have painted a vibrant picture!

    Noticed - Walkofthoughts :) Incidentally, my blog is called the "voyage of thoughts"

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    1. Oh yes! Voyage of thoughts, what a beautiful term. Thanks a lot for those good words on the post and the painting. Welcome to Ahamkaara. Appreciate your esteemed frequent presence.

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  29. This was the first blog of urs which i read... U have great talent... Good one dear...

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    1. Thanks a lot Pooja :) Hope you visit here frequenty.

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  30. You once again had your brilliance splattered in the post in the last line.

    Enjoyed the mood of the post.

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    1. :) I can't stop myself getting flattered by such words Bhai! Thank youuuu :)

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  31. i loved that painting of yours.. very nice..missed ur posts too :(..

    i love to be by myself for a day or two too..don't have to ask for it.. as Ritchie has to travel in his work..so i do get it automatically...but after all the rewinding all that i want is to get back into company...

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    1. Thank you Sunita.. Agli baar miss mat karna.. Warna iss miss se pitaayi hogi... OK ok.. Mrs.. :D

      Blessed souls we are.. Cheers..!

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  32. You are artist with words as well as brush. I think I prefer being alone together...I can't stay alone...

    Welcome back after a break and the template is super cool!

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    1. I more a heart ist Saru.. :) Ah.. I made you think about it.. Well.. I am happy now.. :) Thanks a lot for the warm welcome and for the template..! :)

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  33. well sometimes you just get used to something being a part of your life. its always there and you miss it only when its gone.glad you figured it out so easily :P

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    1. There should be those gone periods in the middle, absence makes the heart grow fonder as they say.. EASY? Ah.. Ok.. Maybe it was :P

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  34. Lovely paintings - did not know about this talent of yours until now :).

    What a nice portrayal Sahana, your posts always bring out the nice points of being married ;). I feel the same way, though I moan about little things like packing lunch for hubby in the midst of other morning rush activities, it feels very weird when I don't have to do it when he's travelling. I put on the water for tea in the morning and then realized he's not in town to have it :(.

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    1. That is so sweet of you Aparna. But, that is the beauty life offers. Sometimes, we miss out such pleasures in the pursuit of bigger ones.
      Well.. I paint rarely.. :) Thanks a lot for a well worded comment :)

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  35. I will forward this post to quite a few people I know. You explained it very well. Hope they will understand. :D

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    1. LOL! Thank you for the advertisement. Even I shall hope for the success! :-D

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  36. Beautiful post Sahana!

    The best part, "As I have understood "giving space" and "leaving alone" are two different things. Giving space is "Being alone-together" and leaving alone is the absolute "alone"."

    Very well expressed!

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    1. Thank you Namrata :)Glad you liked it.. :)

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  37. Aaah The Lovely Post.. :) :)

    These are some untouched experiences i get from your blog..!

    & look at your paintings.. Amazing talent you got there.. :)

    God Bless!

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    1. :-D You will be touched by these experiences once you get married boy! So, I am mentally preparing you.. And about the paintings.. Thank you :)

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  38. Hi, nice blog & good post. You have beautifully maintained it, you must try this Indian Travel Agency website which really helps to increase your traffic. hope u have a wonderful day & awaiting for more new post. Keep Blogging!


    Flexi said...
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  39. Hello,
    Your blog is Very useful.I Like Very Much.
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    ReplyDelete
  40. Very nicely put ! and ur paintings are beautiful ! Loved the last para ! :)

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    1. Thank you for reading and putting these nice words as a comment Aame:)

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  41. Very nice about the giving space and being alone thing. Very true. It's always fun to have some alone time to do your own stuff. Just like you, it lasts only a few days for me and then I start missing my husband. :)

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    1. That alone time, we can reach out to the corners which cannot be concentrated when we are not alone. Thats is so sweet of you Sumitra to share your feelings here. Thank you dear :)

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  42. I should say, its not only write up, u are good at painting as well :-) .. Nicely composed article Sahana..

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  43. Replies
    1. Thank you Sir! Am glad you read through this.

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  44. this was really a cool post.. loved it.

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    1. Thank you Dr. Roshan for reading and expressing your views :)

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  45. The second painting is awesome! Suggest you create a painting blog as well... :)

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    1. Bharathi.. I don't have time to maintain this blog and read your wonderful blogs. And you are suggesting a painting blog. NoT at all!

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  46. Tigers piss on the trees to mark their territory and you mark yours by strewing your clothes all around! - Good one:-)

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  47. The enigma that is Solitude I guess hold its charm for there's then the want of togetherness to follow :) Like you style of writing.

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    1. The charm should be used only when required, else the charm will be lost. Thanks for those wonderful words Brijesh!

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  48. Nice art work, if your doing that after a long time and if it has still come so good. Your HB should leave more often until you turn to an ART legend.Nice blog :).

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    1. Thank you Ramesh :) I don't have the passion in me to make it big in art field. If he leaves me often, I will start missing him badly. Once in a while is good. :)

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  49. It is those little imperfections that makes everything Perfect. Lovely Post Sahana :-)

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    1. Yes Ashwini, those imperfections are the things which we will keep us interested. Otherwise, life will be boring.

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  50. Nicely crafted picturesque narrative ...like the new looks of your blog..guess visiting after a while !

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    1. Thank you! :) Happy to know that the new look has the freshness. Waiting for your frequent visits :)

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  51. Your blog looks neat.......What a post......Fantastically penned down....loved the flow of it :-)

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    1. Thank you Sethu :) Am glad you liked the look and feel of the blog and the content of the post. :)

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  53. a fitting thought for a day like this!.. :-)))

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  54. This painting is very beautiful. Your work is so wonderful. I love the colors and the detail in your work. I will make this kinds of painting.

    mopeds

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    1. Thanks a lot Simly! :) Am glad you liked the painting :)

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  55. I like to do painting. It is my hobby and i also like your painting, Which you share above. It looking so natural and attractive. I like both painting so i will try this type of painting.

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BH: Better Half. Butter Half. Bitter Half.

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