Friday, September 23, 2011

Damn Him!

I had to work late, so I stayed back at my parents’ place. It was 10 PM. The door bell screeched. Amma opened the door, a man in early 40s entered.

My face turned cold with the anger. His sight had fanned the dormant flame of ferocity. I stood there staring in his face! Bloody! He did not have the cheek to face me. My body language did lay a guilt trip on him. He lowered his head as he walked past me. (His head was so much bent that he might have licked the floor as he went)

A rush of memories came back to me.

We lived in a rented house. We were the only family who lived in the city. So, any soul from the family who visited the city would find an accommodation in our house.I was an eight year old girl. 

I came back home after playing cricket. (yes, you read that right)
Amma had gone out to bring provisions and vegetables. Then, a man in late twenties came home.A so-called relative. I used to hate this person. During earlier visits, he took me and my brother out to get us juice and chocolates. Then, he used to send my brother home and he tried holding (read touching) me in a wrong way. His grip was too strong for me. I used to shout, or find some other way to run away from him.

I was scared to tell this to my parents. What if they don’t believe me? I did not even know what his intentions were. (There was nothing like sex education then. It was a taboo.) I just knew that I was feeling uncomfortable. Whenever he found me alone, he asked so many questions of which I remember a few like “Do you know the part of my body which can turn hard with your help?” “Do you know why saree is removed in rape scenes?”
I did not know the answers to the questions then. I skedaddled literally.

That day, when he came I ran into the room; started reading some class notes. My brother was also coloring something in his drawing book. He came in, he said, he is the heaviest person there. Both of us ignored his comments. Then, he said he can prove it, he just put me down and fell on me. My brother was just 5 years old then, I don’t know what thoughts came into his mind, he just lifted a small iron chair and he hit on this man’s head! He cried in pain and ran into the bathroom. We both were shit scared, and we ran out of the house and landed in my neighbors’ (we thought he would die :D)
By the time my mother came, things were normal.

In the later days, I somehow managed to keep away from him.
After we moved into our own house, I rarely saw him. I did not attend any of the social gatherings which had a probability of him coming. Years rolled. He has two kids now. Girls!

Now, things make sense. I can comprehend his questions and intentions. I am sad, that I did not tell my parents then. But, I was really scared; of what? I don’t know. But, I am happy, that these incidents did not bear an impact on my innocent brain;to brand the whole male clan as sex-maniacs. I told Amma about the dirty man when I was in 15. She was extremely angry that I did not tell her at the right time.

After thoughts
I really wonder how many girls went through such abuses in mute helplessness. Now, that I have a daughter, I don’t know how and when I should start sex education. I really fret.

Some ideas which I can think of are,
1)      Train her on self defense.
2)      Tell her repeatedly that getting scared or acting like you are scared; is NOT girlish.   
3)      Tell her to keep distance when she talks to men. Not to encourage touch and talk.
4)      Encouraging her to share the most embarrassing moments also with you, may be then we can take them into confidence. (this did not work in my case)
5)      Never let your girl child alone with men (sans really trusted ones like her father)

What else can be done? What do you think I should do that dirty man?


  1. I simply can't understand men fantasy for kids. I loathe, in fact even that's small word, such a person. It reminds of a case, can't recall the exact name, where Supreme Court intervened. I still remember in that case father, very rich Industrialist from Delhi used to molest his daughter when she was 2 to 5 years old. Such a world we live in. Girls in particular, should be prepared to face these problems, rightly said by you.

  2. @Saru Singhal
    Agreed Saru. The incident you quoted is even more gory! What would the child do? Whom to trust? Makes me feel jittery!

  3. Sahana, you have very mildly dammed him.You have certainly raised a very pertinent question as to how and when we should impart sex education to our kids, how the education can potentially save them or can change or affect them and their outlook for rest of their lives !!

  4. this is horrible. disgusting.
    but i know it happens way too much for us to say we don't know about it. i remember when i was in school, in the bus, i felt a hand up the skirt of my uniform & when i turned i saw the guilty face of my neighbor! He had 2 kids (one girl), knew my parents well & was a bank manager. i have never forgotten it.

    i am just shocked that he still visits your parents.
    such habits never die & even if he has 2 girls of his own, chata hogalla

    I've a daughter too & i really make sure all the time when we are out or there are more people in the house,that she is ok. its just that thought that keeps lurking at the back of my mind: what if?

    i feel sad to even read about molestation/rape/abuse by fathers. that is one things that makes me really violent. i don't mind killing such bastards & going to jail for it or they getting death sentence is far too less i feel

    oh god...this is one thing that gets me worked up & emotional about. i wish.........if it never happened

  5. I can't make sense out of such fantasies. It is shameful and disgusting that a man can walk upto a girl of 8 for his physical satisfaction. I'm so glad the matter did not go any further and so proud of your then 5 year old brother for what he did.
    As for your daughter, I being an 18 year old, can say to you that sometimes it gets difficult to share everything with the parent no matter how close you are. Fear and awkwardness rule the mind of a normal adolescent.
    I believe keeping her away from men who cannot be trusted and bringing to her knowledge of such happenings is the best thing to do.
    It wouldn't even be right to pester her with all these thoughts as the little mind will get worked up and as a matter of fact, a child should possess the raw quality of knowing little:)

  6. Thanks for sharing. I also have a girl. It scares me to read this. But it also prepares me to avoid a disaster

  7. what to say.....well, at least now his entry into that should be restricted...don't you think so...???

  8. I am really sorry that it happened to you. But, please dont limit this to only gals many small boys are also molested. But, no one talks about it much. Please, for the sake of equality talk to the little guys about this too and dont limit this to gals.

  9. Sahana,
    I am shaking as I read your post. I too have suffered a similar situation as a child, this person was a distant relative, although it wasn't as graphic as your's was, he would just try touching me inappropriately, all while pretending to play with me, but something inside me felt terrible, this man changed three wives, all of his wives ran don't blame them, he probably was a pervert to them too...
    I did have some psychological scarring from the events, and had actually blocked it out of memory, until my dear husband found my attitude towards sex a little strange and discussed it with me, and conforted me, now I have completely outgrown the scars from the episodes, but since like you I too have a little daughter, it is her that I think about the most, and you have given some excellent pointers in your post about that, I do have trust issues with people, mainly men (excluding very few men like my father,FIL, her father, etc) and don't feel comfortable leaving her near/with any man even for one second, but in this case I'm happy to safe than sorry...
    Pedophilia is a huge problem in society, and not all child molesters look shady, they can look like a complete family guy too, and so we all have to extra vigilant in protecting our children, I'm so sad to read that he has daughters of his own, I hope god has put some sense into him and protected those poor girls, but the hope isn't high, because statistics show that majority of children are molested by a family member itself...disgusting indeed...
    I applaud your efforts to honestly share this gruesome incident.... :-(

  10. @Sahana: I think the shocking fact is that most girls as children would have faced such incidents. I lost my father when I was 4. When I was studying my 12th one of my father's close friend visited our house in Mangalore. He came during the afternoon and as my mother was working in bank, she had to leave after lunch. This man said that he would stay till evening in our house as he had to go somewhere else in the evening. I and my brother (who was doing his Degree then) were left with him. My brother was sleeping when this man came, so after my mom left, he asked my brother to continue his sleep. He was a lecturer and on the pretext of coaching me he asked me if I wanted any help with my studies (I was studying for my exams). He started touching inappropriately and when my brother noticed my discomfort and this man’s real intentions, he dragged him by his collar and literally threw him out of our house. I can’t forget this incident even now as this man was my father’s closest friend. It’s my honest opinion that such men should be castrated for their deeds. But all I can feel right now is that there so many innocent girl kids who do not escape from the clutches of such disgusting men.

  11. Sahana,

    I know exactly how you feel. Something on these lines happened to me too - when I was around 12 years. To this day I absolutely hate this man. The very mention of him is enough to piss me off. And he too has 2 girl kids. I know it is not fair and that I might seem unreasonable but I seriously hope something similar might happen to his girls too - and atleast then he will feel some of my pain.

  12. Sahana,
    I applaud you for having written this on your blog. I would not have mustered courage to do so. It is so sad that such things are so common. I have been a victim of a pervert rushing up his hands under the skirt in a public bus. Thankfully, the incident leave a scar on my mind. We need to educate our kids-boys and girls-at an early age about good and bad touch and also encourage them to confide in us about anything that they feel uncomfortable about. We should give them our full support and they need to self-assured that we'll stand by them no matter what.

  13. I had also gone through this when I was a kid.I never discussed this with my parents as I was scared just like you were. Child abuse, I feel, is quite prevalent in India. We should encourage our children to speak their mind to us. We should build trust in them that, no matter what, we would be with them.

  14. Very disturbing and horrible moment! It is quite sure, such men end up with daughters. Hopefully he is treating them with the respect they deserve and with the love a father is supposed to shower to his daughters.
    India is prevalent for child abuse, and the worst part is those kids do not know whom to talk to and what!
    And those are true guts you have to publish this very terrible incident of your childhood on your blog.

  15. This is horrible and pathetic. Such pervert men exists to give agony to the innocent people... They should be hung to death!!

    Though am not at all experienced to answer your questions, am attempting them to put my views...
    Sex education has become an inevitable topic to be discussed with today's generation. Especially with this society going in this direction, its high time we teach these kids about the right things at the right time. Gone are the days where it was considered as taboo. I feel it should be discussed openly with kids, after all its for their good sake. There's nothing to be embarrassed or fret about.

    May be not so deliberate when they are 8 or 10 years old. But these days, all kids know much more than what we think they know!! Probably they should be guided in a right direction on these things; Being friendly is the only way to discuss things frankly so that they (kids) also have that comfort factor to discuss some of their embarrassing encounters with parents.

    And that old dirty man should know that he has got 2 girls now and they may also face these issues by such men. A proverb in Tamil says "Sins committed by the parents will come to the children". So he better be a good human at least for the sake of his girls...

  16. Sahana, though I cannot answer the questions at the last line of your post, am very much moved by your 'parenting responsibility'. Am really wanting to have a daughter (no real plans yet..) and after reading your post, started feeling the 'pressure' of bringing her up when shes born.

    Great script to ignite thoughts, keep them on :o)

  17. The world is a rampaging lustful devil for every newborn girl. The world has forgotten where it has come from, who tendered and nurtured them so that i could survive for so long. The world has forgotten what it owes to the mother, the girl. And most saddening, the rich Indian tradition of respecting women is being foot scaled day by day. I live in disappointment. I am a male and to see US males commit such ruthless acts pains me. But 'Retribution Will Come'.......for all of those who are abusing the eternal, pure mother. There will be Retribution.

  18. such men must be taught a better lesson for life.

    Weakest LINK

  19. Disgusting! Looks like every girl/woman that has commented on this post has had this kind of experience sometime in their childhood. Even I have a girl child and I am worried like mad. Having heard many such stories, we have been extremely cautious about leaving her with anyone other than us two, so far. Once again, I regret giving birth to a child in such a gruesome world. And, like some have mentioned above, it's not just for girls, it happens to boys as well. Curse the nature (or god)!

  20. this is a good post and need of the hour.. getting hurt at such tender age, impacts a lot.. the life itself will be changed..

    They( perverts) think that since it's a small child, she wouldn't know it or complain, but the kid does feel uncomfortable even at that age..
    Now a days I hear a lot of such news not just surrounding girl children, but boys too are susceptible..

    Its a wonderful post.. and hats off to you for sharing with us!

  21. it's a shame...and surprisingly it is a very common phenomenon not only in India, but throughout the world...and believe me, it is not only girl child, but children in general...and it is a very difficult crime to stop because children are too scared or ashamed to share it...i cannot understand why it happens, but i really wish we can find a solution...


  22. It's a terrifying post. The dangers are very real and not just from Servants and Drivers let me add. Parents of young girls (I have two, thankfully grown up now) need to be on their guard practically 24x7...good you shared Sahana.

  23. I hope you let someone in his family know. It's very likely that he is abusing his own children. People like that often abuse even their own children.

  24. I have heard many such incidents happen to most of my friends and when they discussed we dint even know what to do then,

    But gradually we learnt about it, Girl child has to be educated the way you have mentioned Mothers should more be friend which may help the child to talk freely

    But cant do anything to such people they are all around us, its better we make sure of our safety!!!

  25. I too should applaud your honesty in sharing this experience Sahana.... I too have heard about such incidents.... In our case, my mom had very clearly kept telling me and my sis, frequently abut good touch and bad touch; not to let anyone touch us, in case someone talks what she called 'adult-language' making us uncomfortable, we should immediately let her know, and so on. She had told stories too, in a way understandable to us as kids, though not completely then, that we should be careful about something like those... i think that helped....

    I think you can start such an education to your kid as well... its never too early in these matters, esp after seeing so many incidents like this. You can tell her even while playing that where they can touch each other and where not to; what is considered bad behavior and so on... She'll at least know what is bad, if not why it is bad...

  26. I really don’t know what to say? Any adjective that negatively describes such pedophiles are perhaps yet to be coined. It is devastating to know that the country that worships Bal-Krishna and Bal- Ganesha has vultures lurking in its underbelly too.
    I always feel bad when I happen to come across such news in newspapers or televisions and mostly I ignore reading or listening to such news. But today when I came to know that my friend and all other fellow bloggers too had suffered such gruesome experience in their lives, it has shaken me.
    I pray to God to punish such people without any mercy so that the humanity can get expunged of such stigmatic creatures.

  27. This is so disturbing..

    You know, I don't understand all those 'moral police' who blame women when a rape occurs. "She was wearing revealing clothes, that's why the man got tempted." That's bullshit!! What sort of revealing clothes do children wear??!! What tittilation is it that peadophiles get out of polluting a child?! They're the worst kind of criminals.

    Tell your daughter to come and tell you if anyone touches her too much, be it a stranger or a relative. Tell her to come and share EVERYTHING with you.

    I respect you for sharing this here. I really do.

    And that other guy, well, there isn't much you can do now. But make it clear to him in whatever ways possible that you haven't forgiven or forgotten. And please! Don't let him anywhere near your daughter!!!

  28. i think its due to the culture and social set up that girls are discouraged to even talk about sex and a mere mention by a girl anything remotely related to it is considered is taboo and even shameless .... and anyways even if somebody tell her parent, the parents keep silent as they fear they will lose respect in the society....very sad state of affairs...

  29. Sahana kudos to u gal not everyone can share something like this... and ya that brother of yours give him a good hug :) :)... that bloddy bugger when and if you get a chance stand in front of him look him into the eye and ask that you have your own daughters do you still ask your questions to them...if not should I tell them about your questions... Scare the shit of him ya !!!

  30. Good that you shared your experience here. I do have a little daughter, and I should watch out for these kind of people.

  31. I have come across such stories many a times, I have been lucky to have not experienced such things in my life.. may be because i was very talkative, men didn't do anything wrong fearing, I would speak out everything...

    If your daughter is 5+ start educating her right away... I would like to share a small story here.. Thr was this lady in my neighborhood, had a new born baby(5 mnths)..the Lady went down stairs to collect a ball which had fallen down from balcony ..and she had asked a 10 yr old boy (neighbour's) to look after the baby, until she comes.. upon her return (5 min) that baby was crying out loud ..she didnt understand why was she crying later,she was shocked to know the reason for her daughter’s unconsciousness.. she found her private part all red beacuse this little boy fingered her..

    Make sure your daughter is fearless and educate her about the right and wrong things!

  32. Let the child know that she should come to you and tell you if she feels uncomfy with any person or if a person has been behaving in ways he shouldnt.

    Talking solves half the problems!!
    New to ur blog!

  33. Sahana, aa anonymous bardirodu odi nange maiyella uritu! how could that bloody 10 year boy do that!! oh god! animals! animals! sayisbidana ansutte!

  34. well for that dirty man...FORget him!

    but its a lesson definitely...and it will help ur daughter in many ways coz u r so vigilant about it now. Till recently, absolutely no attention was paid to sex education..and even mothers thought of it as a restricted topic to explain and share even with their daughters.
    Although my mom never explained me such things, i have never hesitated in sharing ANYTHING from her..simply coz she is most of the time using a non-judgmental approach and if she ever points out my wrong doings..the discussion is NEVER dragged. so i can always confide in her :)
    I think a daughter and mother should try and be great frnds..if not the best ones and that keep all the troubles at bay :D


  35. Kudos to you for having the guts to share this. I can well imagine how protective you must be towards your daughter and rightly so. The world is indeed very evil with unfortunately not just the men who can be perverts. I guess, sooner better than later, we need to tell our kids what they might face. Its better they lose their innocence hearing what wrong can happen rather than experience it and lose it anyway.

  36. This comment has been removed by the author.

  37. Sahana- Kudos to you for sharing this.

    Being a mom of a girl, I have the same worries too. In fact, these days news papers are unveiling the stories of sexual harrasment towards kids a lot. Believe me, recently there were quite few cases that school principal raped the elementary students, auto wala raped the LKG girl while returning from school etc.. Life has become very challenging for parents of girls, no matter what age the kids are in. The only way to protect them is educating them and the education must come from moms and there should be an open relationship between parents and kids.

    Like you rightly mentioned we should no way leave girls alone, not even with neighbors..

    Applause again!

  38. You got to train your girl to deal with such ninkampoops! Crazy men and bravo to your brother. I do wish he had died back then when he tried his hands on. Fucker.

    You may think how to start, but you never know, your daughter may have hints of such things already.

    When I was around 7-8, somehow I had an idea of something hush-hush that existed, so am sure today, kids know. One of my friend mentioned, their son even caught them in the act. So, it's not that kids do not know, they do! Just a matter of talking it out...

  39. Really disturbing. It's disgusting that such freaks lurk at every nook and corner unchecked.

    I guess it's really up to us to make sure that our kids are alert, but at the same time do not lose their innocence and childhood (by knowing too many details, that might unnecessarily worry them). Finding the balance is definitely not easy.
    I believe you need to have a chat with your kid and teach her about the difference between good and bad touch. This can happen as soon as 2 years onwards. Maybe not get into too much details, but tell her some basic stuff like which parts of the body are private...what to do if somebody touches her and makes her uncomfortable...Above all she needs to know that she can tell you anything without any sense of shame or worry..., just make sure to talk to her everyday for a few minutes about the daily happenings in school, etc..who she met..what happened during the day, etc. Keeping an open channel is most important...We'll need to rely on the kid somewhat for this too, as being on the lookout all the time is not really possible and can make us paranoid (which would cause tension to the kids, and might actually turn them away from sharing everything).... Do watch this video:

  40. @Nitin Jain Even I felt so Nitin, I might have damned him mildly, that is what I could do.
    Kids should be educated at the right time! :)

  41. @Sujatha Sathya
    Such experiences are inevitable for a girl?! Irritating!

    I really hope his girls are fine. Like other woman, his wife cannot even entrust her children with him!

    Ideally we can wish for such things Sujatha. Reality is bad. :(

  42. @Priyanka Kamath Such fantasies can be understood only by such people probably.
    Maybe you are right, keeping her away and aptly educating her should help. Thanks for sharing your views. :)

  43. @IRFANUDDIN Yes, It should be. I have done that now. :)

  44. @RamesH Right Ramesh, it is not restricted to Girls. I focused on girls in the light of the post. :)
    Small boys also suffer such abuses.

  45. @AAD
    Sad. Really sad. I can completely empathize with you. Sometimes I feel we should have some power to pester such lunatics.
    Thank you Anjali. I feel there is no reason for hushing about such incidents. :)

  46. @Prasanna Rao Prasanna, Good that your Bro kicked that person out. Probably we can never understand the mentality of such people. I just feel sick. *PUKE*
    You know what? I would love if their hands and legs are tied, they are made to sit naked in front of the mirror and Strong sulphuric acid should be poured on theirs. They should see melting in front of their eyes!

  47. @Anne John Poor girls Anne, Lets not wish for the same for those girls. I know the revenge feeling does make us think that way.
    But, eye for an eye is not a solution always. I want to punish the person in a better way ;)
    Sad to know that even you experienced such shitty things!

  48. GOd This is sick..
    it is true that most of the abuse is done by someone whom we know ..
    Sorry ot hear you had to go through this ..
    but you are right with the steps ..

    What can furthur be done well I am more of a explosive person , So i would make sure there are lots of people around and then COnfront him point blank , god knows how

    many other relatives he has done the same to.

    and Talk to the kids .. TALKING is the biggest weapon we all have .. USe it Talk to the kids make sure they can come and tell the parents anything ...


  49. What you say is very true.. We just dont talk about child sexual abuse. And it is a myth that it happens to girls. Boys are equally vulnerable.

  50. You see, my mom always warned about this in different ways at different age. And because of her only I was very much informed and cautious when I reached my teenage. Right from a young age (maybe 9 years, don't remember) my mom used to say that "if ever any guy misbehaves you whether be a friend or family member, brother, uncle or who-so-ever, never hide it from me . Do let me know if any such thing happens. You can't tell what is going on in someone's mind. And always stay cautious".

    Because this is very obvious that it is not possible that every time someone would be with me and moreover, such things can happen to any girl of ANY AGE (sadly) and anywhere!! Girls are not safe. Whether be a 5 years old girl or a 15 years old girl. We only need to be cautious.

  51. @Prasanna Rao

    Even as a castrated man (an accident lead to that surgery) I have to agree with you on castration for these evil bastards. When their scrotum hang like deflated balloons between their legs they might understand the pain they have caused.

  52. Hi Sahana, you're tagged here
    Pls check it out :)

  53. Truly courageous blog!! I applaud you for that!!
    It's about time bastards like these get exposed and the more open we women talk about these experiences, the smaller hopefully the chances will be of this happening to following generations!!
    And yes, in my opinion, castration would most certainly be the BEST and ONLY solution for this degenerates!!

  54. @Uma Rightly said Uma! The education on good touch and bad touch is the best idea. Thank you. :)
    I feel so good that wrote this. So, better ideas are coming up. I can prepare myself better. :)

  55. @Namrata Mahalingam Ahh! Hate this! Is it a rule that one should go through this if we are born as a girl.
    HOPEFULLY, we can educate our children Namrata. :)

  56. @The life-a-holic
    'the worst part is those kids do not know whom to talk to and what! ' EXACTLY!!
    Even I hope that, sometimes I feel I should tell his wife about his perverted mind. But, something stops me.

  57. @Anand Your words weigh gold Anand! If my prayers are answered, No child will be ever abused.
    His kids are naive and innocent, I don't want them to undergo any pain. If there is something called as Karma, he should only face it!

  58. @Prashanth This is one of the biggest worries of a girl child parent. We find such idiots on MG road too. They just barge into us, touching inappropriately. However, developed the nation gets someone stops getting perverted this cannot be stopped, I guess.

    :) Am glad at least you now know what to face Prashanth.

  59. @blackandwhiteheart
    Wonderfully worded comment. I just hope the 'Retribution comes soon'! Thank you!

  60. @Rachit Yeah.. They should be. But, who will bell the cat is the question.

  61. @BHARATHIRAJA Yes! It mostly happens to girls. Boys are comparatively less. Please be cautious. Cursing? If that would have helped, he would have turned into ashes by now!

  62. @KP Good observation, which I missed to mention in the blog. 'They( perverts) think that since it's a small child, she wouldn't know it or complain'

    Hatred grows when we will be trying constantly to grow love in their hearts.

    Thank you.. :) I felt a duty towards myself to write.

  63. @SUB Poor kids! What is it with pervert attitude men? I simply don't understand.

    Solution? Dissolving the perverts in Strong Sulphuric acid should work actually.

  64. @Satish Mutatkar Right Satish. The danger can come from any side. Like when driving, the people who do not follow traffic rules can come into your way, ANYTIME. ANYONE!

  65. @Agnija Now, that even you feel so, I should be enlightening the mother of his kids about his nature.
    I was thinking about telling or not, your views convinced me.

  66. @Ramya Atleast, if kids discuss with their friends, there will be an opening to their emotions Ramya. When they don't, it may turn out to be disastrous.

  67. @Sum Nice to know that Sumana.
    Preaching about Good Touch and Bad touch has helped you and your sister. I am convinced now. Convinced on how I should be educating the kid.

  68. @Neeraj Kumar
    That rage is so much understandable Neeraj.
    Infuriates me to the core. If we could CASTRATE HIM! I would not wait for God!!!

  69. @Spaceman Spiff I did not even allow his breath come near my daughter!

    Probably, we can never understand such peadophiles' attitude. They have some psychiatric problem I guess. They are born to good parents, I can't even blame parents for such behaviors.

    Thanks a lot for sharing your view. Means a lot to me!

  70. @Muhammad Israr And such people take advantage of it! SICK!
    Until people come out of their blocked mind-sets, probably we cannot solve such problems!

  71. @SuKupedia :) :) This time, I made him almost piss in his pants! I told my father about him, and he literally kicked him out!

    And yes! Hugs to bro.. :)

  72. @Joshi Mukard Such comments makes me feel really really good. Thank you. And please take care!

  73. @Anonymous SICK!! Small baby?!
    What spoils the innocent minds? TV? Internet? Company? What can we keep them away from?!

    I am planning to do the same. I don't want her to be scared at all. But, it also depends on the basic character. Crossing Fingers!

  74. @Red Handed Welcome!
    'Talking solves half the problems!!'

  75. @Sujatha Sathya Nijvaaglu.. Baro kopakke antahavaranna ottige nillisi chuchchi chuchchi kolloNa ansatte!

  76. @subtlescribbler Thats true Sarah!
    'I think a daughter and mother should try and be great frnds'
    I hope, we grow into such great friends. :)

  77. @Richa Thank you.. :) We should just take care that we tell them using appropriate words, at appropriate age.

  78. @Nishana When the 'fence starts eating the crops in the field, who should we trust?' SICK!

    And also we should teach them that being brave is good trait of a girl!

  79. @Chintan Oh yes Chintan, Kids nowadays learn things quickly from friends. If as parents, we talk about sex openly, we will be closing the gap of communication. Else, the gap widens.

    Liked the angle of your thought!

  80. @Sri How emphatically the thoughts have flown in Sri! Thank you.. :)
    Step by step, will do as you have said. :)

  81. @Bikramjit I did! He was literally kicked out of the face. He was red with anger.

    Yes! Talking sounds to be the biggest weapon! As many have suggested!

  82. @Meera Sundararajan
    We have to talk about it. Let people know. Throw light upon those dark areas. If we can avoid, at least 3-4 incidents, worth the effort. I agree. Boys are vulnerable too!

  83. @Sneha Sunny 5-15 Sneha? I still can see perverts on busy roads!
    Your mother did the right thing at the right age, I should probably follow her way. :) Thank you for sharing this. It will be really helpful!

  84. @Empty Sack What a wonderful Idea you have come up with! SIMPLY!

  85. @Anand
    Hey Anand, Thanks a lot!!! That is an honour! :)

  86. @ZivaThank you Ziva.. :) Hope we could execute the best punishments to such perverts! Hope we had some special powers!

  87. Almost 80% of the gal kids undergo this in their young age! This is truely disgusting!!!! Well there are no words created in any language to come up wid words to abuse such ppl!!In my opinion the gal kids should be made to object then and there, first thing is to shout out loud no matter what the guy is trying to do, then if they are around 15 yrs then they should speak to that person , scold him then and there and then make things clear. At every point in time the kid should come and share whatever happens to her wid her mom/dad with whomever she is comfortable with. I know tellin things is easier, but then again taking care and bringing up kids in the right way is most challenging task to all the parents these days. My mom as a kid thought that whatever happened to me shouldn happen to my daughter, but then eventually she couldn stop things which happened to me. I had to undergo one such experience too, but i had the guts to shout at that guy and tell him to be in his limits. I also shared that wid my mom the very same day.

    Really i wonder what a MOM should do to tell/educate her kid with all this.

    Amazingly and very daringly shared!!! Keep up the posts gal..

  88. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Actually I have a daughter now and am very careful to the point of being paranoid... I don't let her alone with anyone I suspect would do any harm to my child. I always have an eye around her and other than school, she goes no where without me.

    2. can you please delete the previous comment

  89. Hi Sahana. Thanks for your very pertinent points.

  90. A very courageous and thought-provoking post by the author. Studies show that in many instances, the perpetrator is part of the same family, close friends' circle, or neighbors. The very people we trust implicitly and instinctively to watch out for our little ones. Given this, such an act comes across as the ultimate betrayal and there is really only one penalty that fits the crime. It seems that such predators do not restrict themselves to girls alone. For reasons best known to psychologists, the male mind is, relatively speaking, less able to open up.


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BH: Better Half. Butter Half. Bitter Half.

BUNNI: Manufactured Daughter.

APPA: Role-Model Father.

AMMA: Near and Dear Mother.

CHD: Partner in Crime. Brother.


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