Monday, January 7, 2013

Stubble Grumbles

This was during our early days of marriage. One evening I hit a “rough patch” with my husband. My fingers which were moving over a terrain as smooth as melted chocolate, stumbled on a thorny terrain - his stubble! It was the same sensation I get when a metal is scratched. Sreeech... Yikes! That put me off.  I backed off and asked, “You did not shave today?” He rolled his eyes, “That makes me look cool! “. I gulped.

I had a challenging task ahead. I did not want to offend  him by nagging. I wanted him to shave whenever he had a stubble. Slowly, I started dropping subtle hints.

>>Showed him some snaps in which he was clean shaven and said he looked handsome.
He replied “I know. A lot of people have told me so.”. He didn't even get the hint on why I was showing him those snaps.  FAIL

>> Mailed him an article on the web which said shaving helps in removing dead-skin and also keeps the skin wrinkle free. The facial hair can keep oil and dirt on the skin and hence shaving is hygienic too.
He replied “Don’t waste your time reading such over analytical crap. I don’t give a damn to all these things anyway.” FAIL

>>Next morning, I put the toothpaste onto his brush, shaving foam onto his shaving brush, kept a flask of hot water next to the bowl and the after-shave lotion on the sink cabinet. Then I waited for him while I prepared the breakfast.
He returned as scruffy as a gorilla. I ran into the bathroom area to see that ONLY the toothbrush was used and all the other stuff I had carefully arranged remained untouched. FAIL

So, after the series of failures I tried making friendly conversations with him. I said that a beard looks weird on him. It is a furry mask which hides the handsome cuts his face has.  He defended by saying that a beard gives him a mature look and that it gives others an image of a thinker. And once he said “Having beard and moustache is so manly!” There! I got the exact reason behind my failures. Do not mistake him to be a misogynist. But, he is proud of what he is or has.

Now, I had to tackle this problem in a different way knowing the weak point. One evening he was watching a documentary on TV. I ran to him from behind and planted a kiss over his cheek. And I whispered in his ear “I do not want anything to come between us. Not even your stubble”. He requested for a cup of coffee. When I came back with a cup, Voila! I see a man who had sent his stubble to the rubble, by shaving double that day!

So, love worked for me. If you think I blackmailed him, let me tell you.. Everything is fair in love and war. Sometimes even I feel sorry for him that he has to keep shaving and think - why shouldn’t there be a receding beard-line like receding hair-line?Why can’t people go bald on their chin? LOL!

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with
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Acronyms and Definitions

BH: Better Half. Butter Half. Bitter Half.

BUNNI: Manufactured Daughter.

APPA: Role-Model Father.

AMMA: Near and Dear Mother.

CHD: Partner in Crime. Brother.


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