Monday, March 5, 2012

D-Cold war

The molten lava is burning inside. The 2 openings of the caves in the volcanic mountain are blocked by the rocks formed by the solidified lava. And the smallest mistake, could cause a hot volcanic eruption at home. That is how serious the situation is, when BH catches "common" cold and his nose (above mentioned as caves) is blocked!  

I had no clue whatsoever, what would turn-up the next morning. I was busy getting ready for the day and it was half past 9! I rushed to bedroom to wake BH up.. And what I saw was a gory sight which I had never witnessed before!
He was looking crest-fallen, still on the couch. BH's face had turned to a red tomato!

Me: What happened? It is already 9.30! Won't you go to office?
BH: Yeah right! You want me to go to office even when I am dying?

I was completely taken aback by that reply. "Should I call an ambulance?" I contemplated. Maybe I did not comprehend his condition properly. I just thought, he has caught cold. I immediately ran to him, sat next to him, apologized for being insensitive, pampered him and asked..

Me: What happened? What is bothering you..
BH: Bloody common cold!

I took a deep breath, and tried to gather calmness from all positive energy sources. I said I would bring him hot filter coffee, which would provide him some initial relief. He never behaved so touchy, vulnerable, emotional for 3 years now. But, he had not caught cold either. He had turned into a whining, clamorous stranger.
Few hours later, there was a man sniffing, shuffling things around, growling, using swear words with every sneeze almost sounding like "Faaack....choo".. The tissues he used were piling up to make a "bean-bag" like structure. While inhalers, wrappers of medicines were also decorating the "yuck-y" structure.

For 3 days, I bore witness to this "unofficial emergency period" at home. Common cold had caused a disaster of epic proportions which made a stalwart, chivalrous, invincible macho-man into a giant-cry-baby. And the worst experience during the emergency period was that I was not supposed to laugh at the comical drama that was unfolding. Remember volcanic eruption? I would not have been surprised if he had made a "will" in that condition or if he believed that this was the way the world would end.

Medicines, some home-made soups, steam, sleep and not to forget, some cricket did help him get back all the powers of a warrior. We were done and dusted with traversing the stony journey of his first common cold in our married life. As I was getting things ready for the day, the next morning, he was gobbling up crunchy "dosays"..

Me: How I wish.. I could ban my man, when he is bowled by cold.
BH: In the end, I ruled and you were fooled.

PS: I know about Man-flu!

52 comments:

  1. That is one hilarious stuff.I know common cold can be uncommon as it always behaves so when it catches me.BH had the first taste of it and hope it never fancies him.

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  2. Well, I have to support your BH here.. Common Cold is the most irritating of them all. Irritating for the person who has it, and also for the near & dear ones :D

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    1. He needs all that support and attention :-D Good that you know irritation is two way traffic.

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  3. At first I thought poor BH, but then I realised the agony is yours too :-))
    I agree, the most machoist MAN can crumble down to the most commonest thing. The common cold :-)
    Awesomely narated! Reminded me of papa and amma's banter.. teehee

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    1. LOL! That is actually fun to see. Also, we should understand the tricks to bring people down is lies in common things. :D Not that I try such tricks at home. General rant.. I have seen this happening at parents' home too :)

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  4. Nice one, Sahana! Although I must say, as someone currently suffering from the awful, yet common, cold....I feel bad for BH! He is lucky he has you...who showers TLC on him!

    :)
    Malavika

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    1. Hope you got out of the suffering Akka.. LOL.. He lets me write the rant... I should be lucky too.. :) THanks a lot for your comment. It is so valuable.. :)

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  5. i would not comment much on the HARATE potion of it, which is excellently depicted, if u catch common cold, buy an UNANI medicine called CHINKNI, looks like grandfathers NASYA dabbi and nasya. a pinch to be taken, shoved in to nostrils, wait for a minute or so, user start blowing his nose out automatically. But keep a big towell handy, as the forced sneezing, takes everything ( including the least energy u r left with after catching cold ) out. do it every 2hrs and free from cold next day morning.

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    1. :-D HaraTe bore aayta? LOL.. Irali.. I have noted down the name of the medicine. It would be helpful if you let me know where this medicine will be available.

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  6. Cold ..I hate it ..Its disturbs a lot !!!

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    1. I can completely understand your feelings.. :)

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  7. Sahana - you are brilliant !!! my BH is almost similar .. But what a start to my day reading brilliant stuff !!!

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    1. How I like it when people can relate my incidents to their life. You made me feel good Sangeeta.. Thank you.. :)

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  8. LOL Sahana!! Your BH is so darn funny! Reminds me of what my dad used to do ,throwing tantrums at mom! It is really a funny sight though seeing them in this piteous condition does melt your heart away! I was just laughing all through this post! I'm reading real awesome posts from morning!!! :)

    Your newest follower! You will catch me up often here! xxoo :)

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    1. Thanks for the follow Jen.. Wow! It makes me so light when I see such comments.. Making people smile is a big big compliment in itself. Yay!! :)

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  9. Very hilarious, Sahana! You have the knack to make mundane situations into a laughter riot:)

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  10. LOLOL...I can imagine the situation. A smallest discomfort and these husbands are at their vulnerable selves..:-)

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  11. Hahaha! Bean bag like structure, that was some funny stuff there. I become like this too when I have a cold, so I totally empathize with your husband :D

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  12. LOL :D Same scene in my home but its me who does all these drama and my hubs is the D-COLD war silent witness!!!

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  13. "faack...choo"!!! hilarious, manni! But i must say its a little hard to imagine my "stalwart, chivalrous, invincible macho-man" brother in this situation! I wish i'd seen him!

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  14. As usual, enjoyed the funny description of the situation with lots of "upama" and "roopaka" alankaaras! But somehow, i am still in the hangover of "Stumped"!!

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  15. Rib tickling one.. I know your BH's condition.. Because I can catch cold even if someone says it loud.. Dust, cold weather, water anything can make me sick in sense cold. The first day of continuous sneezing makes me think why I am living.. Till now I knew only my side of the story.. But your version actually shocked me.. Next time when I catch cold I think I know exactly what my family thinks.. Nice one. :D

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  16. Ha ha. They say, If you take medicines for cold, you would be cured in a week. If you dont take medicines you would be cured in 7 days. But it is by far the most irritating conditions, where we feel sick of the condition we are in!

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  17. Sahana how do you get to such hilarious stuff when it comes to even a thing called - common cold. Hats off !! I exactly pile up tissues , inhalers into a huge heap just the way BH did. Cold is very painful and I am victicm of it once a year atleast.

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  18. :) I guess the common cold got the better of him and that is one thing i hate the most the common cold, I think it comes with a vengeance towards a man.. seriously everything stops to work .. Cold is one think I am so afraid of.

    Made me laugh all through and reminded of how it feels ...

    Bikram's

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  19. This was hilarious. I like your style of writing and the topics u choose. Looking forward for more

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  20. The narration wanted me to keep on reading though the subject matter was too common... Good job

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  21. Hilariously superb :)!!! All of a sudden, there are these funny words you use as similes, that it just amazes me at how you can write so well. And I hereby declare that the common cold is the world's worst possible disease!!

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  22. good one...
    reason i too become dead at the 1st hint of cold...
    regards

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  23. LOL, nice one sahana... lucky me , i never ever have been down with cough or cold...it can be very irritating and specially in your case :)

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  24. My dad drives us all crazy when he has a cold..reminded me of that :)

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  25. hahahaaa... funny funny!! As usual, nice narration Sahana!
    Common cold can really irritate and take a s**t outta a man :)
    nice read!

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  26. LOL...Never seen common cold entertaining...Men turn into kids when they are sick...

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  27. Ohhh... In my case its the other way around. If i get a cold or headache, I do all the drama and make his life terrible. I crave for attention, pampering and wont even allow him to watch cricket.. hehehe...

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  28. I am becoming an addict;-) i am expecting your mail everyday!I was afraid you would become too busy to write after going to Pune, but no, you didn't disappoint!

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  29. hahaha Sahana, I am ROFL literally, laughing at the expense of your poor BH though, sorry !

    What a hilarious description that was, and (atleast for me) a thread of truth running through it about how some, be it man or woman, react to illness :)

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  30. Extracting fun out of a situation that is not favorable is all about making life more livable.

    Thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

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  31. You can make the most mundane thing so entertaining! Lovely!!

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  32. didnt know there was a thing called "man-flu"
    liked the way you converted that incident into an entertaining post :)

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  33. This comment is for all the husband's who suffer the ridicule of their wives (and other sundry womenfolk in the household, who look at you, look away and snigger, and then you hear them tell one another, he has a cold!!) when they have a cold. Well, a cold is not just a cold, it is a negation of all things that we big guys believe in, it is the end of the world as we know it. Please understand that at the end of the day, we are more than the tough guys we would like to be known as, we are also mama's boy who comes crying because the guy from class 3B pushed us over on the playground. We are clear-headed problem-solving creatures, and a cold comes and stands in the way just like a mother-in-law who blocks the TV exactly when Sehwag goes on the forefoot to flick a boundary. We guys have a problem with leaking noses, it is like a plumbing problem that we cannot fix. We cannot deal with inflamed sinuses, since it reminds us of everything else in life which we sweep under the carpet of macho control. A cold just puts us in touch with the vulnerabilities that even Freud wouldn't have imagined we had. Give me a chronic, if necessary fatal disease, and I will possibly handle it with greater grace, but please, please, don't give me a cold. I have the same story at home, where DW acts like I am creating a whole monster out of a drippy nostril whenever I am struck by this disaster. I can hear a cold coming on from three days away. And having a cold coming on, even if it is three days away, can be just as debilitating as having a cold upon you, lets say two days away.

    I was laughing and boiling at the same time while reading the post. I also noticed from the comments that this is probably more common than both men and women would imagine. Loved the read.

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  35. I keep asking him if anyone can die of cold :P I make a total mess when I m suffering from cold and I get cold every changing season ! He keeps telling me that I m the official "season change" report for him :D

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  36. Haha! Actually I'm as bad whenever I catch a cold too! I would much prefer catching a fever than horrible colds!!!

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  37. hey sahana,
    you are tagged!

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  38. Hey Dear,
    You have been tagged here :)
    http://mydearu.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/sizzling-brownie-24-tagged-11/
    Cheers !

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  39. Quite hilarious....tissues piling up to make a bean bag like structure, whether BH would have made a will...interesting read.

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  40. Hahahhaaa :D

    Oops! Sorry but I can't stop laughing! :D

    heheee :D

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  41. Knock Knock where are you Sahana? miss you come back soon...

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    1. Back to namma Bengaluru Ramya.. :) So, we were settling down here. Will resume the normal blogger's life.. :)

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  42. poor BH first the cold and then you.. he had too much on his plate to handle O_O...paavi whatever happ to the 'mera pathi mera parmeshwar' thingie :D :D :D

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BH: Better Half. Butter Half. Bitter Half.

BUNNI: Manufactured Daughter.

APPA: Role-Model Father.

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