Friday, July 6, 2012

Mesmerizing or A mess of memorizing?

Friday, July 06, 2012 24 Comments

My eyes were on the door waiting for BH's arrival. Guests had informed late about their arrival on a Sunday, and it had left me very little time to cook a lunch for them. I asked BH to note down a list of things in his phone I would need from the shop nearby, knowing very well about his slippery memory.


It was half an hour since he left. He should have returned by now. The clock was ticking. So little time, so much to do. The shopping centre is nearby. It should not take more than 5 minutes even if he crawls on the road. Did he meet someone? But, shouldn't he know this is urgent? Or has something bad happened to him? My limbs trembled once that last thought crossed my mind. I reached out to my phone and called him.


***Nobody Gonna Take My Car***.. The ringtone buzzed.


Darn! He has left his phone! Then what will he bring? What took him so long? I thought, I will go near the shop and find out. My heart was thundering. I switched off the stove and other electrical appliances, ran into the room to get my purse.


***BANG!***


I got the shock of my life. BH was sleeping like a log!!! I just could not believe my eyes!! I shook him up, asked him what happened? He was still closing his eyes as he answered,
"I searched for my wallet. I could not find. I do not know where I kept it last night. Then, I remembered today is Sunday and I need not go to office" 
innocently. I knew he was not pretending. Have you heard of cross-connection in the lines of thought? Here it was!


The pressure was building up inside me, my eyes had turned red and welled up with tears like they would pop out any moment. I had to gather myself and get down to work. Guests came, they enjoyed the sumptuous lunch. So, everything ended well.


There is no exact algorithm to figure out what he forgets. He can forget anything. Be it hanging towels on the string after bath, keys, friend's wedding, birthdays, or even the destination to which he left home for. ANYTHING. I am happy that it is any"thing" and not anyone! He would have forgotten all his body parts if they were detachable!


If I get into a combative mode on this: tempers fray, accusations fly - which only leave my head in frying hot temperature. Nothing will change. I am not being pessimistic here, but neither am I optimistic about a human's ability to radically change their inbuilt qualities. I try to help him out without being nosy, by setting reminders in his phone or SMS-ing. I am sure that I shall evolve with many other reminding techniques as years roll-by.
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Next Monday, he had an early office meeting. I bid good-bye for the day, a hug and a peck followed. However tired I am, such gestures make me feel very light. As I closed the door behind, I saw the towel “as usual” lying on the floor in the room. I heaved a sigh. I was about to pick the towel up, I felt cold fingers over my arms. My breath stopped. He held me tight from back, while his warm breath tickled my ears, he planted a peck and said,
"Sorry, I forgot! I was too occupied with the presentation for the meeting. Bye dear"


That left a smile on my face.  Friedrich Nietzsche said "The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time." There is no quality in man/woman which is dark. Everything is grey!
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# BH # IT'S MY LIFE
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Thursday, May 24, 2012

What laga diya

Thursday, May 24, 2012 56 Comments

The conversations I have with my little one just make my day! She surprises me everyday. It is a two-way learning activity. Now, she can remember, relate and ask questions. The most feared "Why?" has not started yet. So, here are some snippets of my enlightenment.


As a regular routine, we were lighting the lamps and reciting shlokas in the evening, and..

Bunni: What is inside God Amma?
Me: mmmm.. A lot energy.
*Her eyes glowing*
Bunni: I drink Bournvita no? I eat all things you give no? Even I have a looooot of energy.

Did you know?  Bournvita is all it takes to become God.

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We were travelling by car and it was raining, Bunni was carefully watching the wiper blades were wiping off the raindrops on the glass. Suddenly she exclaimed..

Car is shaving like Appa no?

Did you know? Car needs a shave on a rainy day?

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In a family get-together lunch, they served "Aloo BonDa" otherwise called "Batata Wada",
It was hot and crispy,
Me: Taste it Bunni.. You will like it.
Bunni: No.. I don't want.
Me: Okay. See.. How Amma eats and enjoys..
Bunni: Amma.. Slowly.. There is no urgency.. No one will take that away from you.. Remove the peel and then eat.

Did you know? The mouth I opened to have a bite, remained open as I was awestruck by that dialogue. Have you tried eating an "Aloo BonDa" or Batata Wada without the peel? :D

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We had been to our village to attend cousin's wedding. Uncles have cows and buffalos at home. Bunni was excited very much about the animals in proximity.
One evening she sat watching my uncle milking the cow and she started crying.

Uncle: What hapenned? Why are you crying?
Bunni: Give the milk back to the cow.
Uncle: It has given for us dear.
Bunni: No! You took it. It did not give. You did not even ask its permission before you took.

She started crying loudly. I had to take her to a different place to divert her from the topic.

Did you know? You should ask the cow's permission before milking?
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I was asking her the meaning of lights on the traffic signal..
Me: Red means?
Bunni: Stop <with action>
Me: Amber means?
Bunni: Get ready
Me: Green means?
Bunni: <runs> Gooooo..
Comes back running to me and asks
What does the head-light color in front of the car mean?

If you know. Please let me know :D
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With just "Whats", Watt lagaa deti hai yaar! :D
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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Attention Deficit Disorder

Saturday, April 28, 2012 56 Comments


It was pitch dark and we were passing through the woods in a car. We were supposed to reach the destination an hour earlier, the camera's craving for a hunt (read shoot) at many places led to many pit-stops. Once we entered the forest, a guard warned us against stopping the car anywhere. I held onto BH's hand, rested my head over his shoulder and closed my eyes. Then, I heard these conversations.

Girl: Stop for second! Look at the lonely tree in the middle of the lake and the moon's reflection in it!!

BH lifted my head with his hand and said,

"What a catch in the night girl. It will be a picture for life and please don't get down."

That girl had one kick-ass camera. She quickly changed some settings clicked a few snaps in various combinations of angles and modes. Then, she gestured the driver that we can leave. She flaunted what she had snapped. The only person who seemed to be interested was BH.

Next morning, all of us went for a walk through the wood. I took my normal point-and-shoot camera with me. As we tread the rough terrain, we spotted many birds on the way. It was a visual treat. But, when I turned to show BH a bird we had not spotted before, I did not find him. I turned back. He was showing something to the girl with a kick-ass camera. I went there to see what I had missed sighting. The valley and trees looked beautiful with a orange hued sky in the background. I captured that too.
BH turned to the girl and said,

BH: Show me the picture you have taken.
Girl: See this, See this and this. Which is the best?
BH: All are good. You should take photography seriously. You are made for that.
Girl: He.. He.. You are flattering me.

The voice inside me cried "I have taken a snap too! And I am standing few inches away from you"

Was I jealous? Or was I lacking attention? I pondered. There is an intrusion in that territory of attention was the output. Although I knew, that both of them were intent on photography, I was hurt. I went into my shell. I slid the camera into its pouch and walked swiftly away from them. Alone.

BH, who notices the slightest of my change in expressions, did not comprehend this. Maybe, he did not expect. Then, I told myself not to expect a minute of atttention from him on this trip. I kept myself aloof from the happenings. Strangely, BH did not notice till that evening. I stood near a vast expanse of dry land, gaping at infinity. I had a warm hand on my shoulder and deep low voice said.

BH: What are you doing here?
Me: Nothing. I was just thinking to tell you that this spot could offer a picture during the sunset. Go quickly and bring your camera-woman.
BH: What? Are you jealous my lady? *Laughs uncontrollably*
Me: *Teary eyed* Did you see one snap I took during this trip?
BH: Oye! Are you crying? Dear.. She has a better camera than us. I was.. Leave it. Now stop crying and show me the snaps.
Me: I won't.
BH: You are a kid. Come-on. Grow-up.

After pampering, cuddling, hugging and chocolate-ing I felt better. I lacked attention. God! Such difficult times of my life :-D 

I cannot term this feeling as positive or negative. It really depends on how you deal with this feeling. I would not call term this as jealousy or insecurity, it is the behavior due to lack of attention. If the expectations and disappointments are not sorted as soon as possible, such feelings wont take long to grow into negative emotions.
So, I suffered from "Attention Deficit Disorder- Initial stage"


PS: I was not angry. I was just hungry for attention.
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# BH # Experience
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Monday, March 5, 2012

D-Cold war

Monday, March 05, 2012 49 Comments
The molten lava is burning inside. The 2 openings of the caves in the volcanic mountain are blocked by the rocks formed by the solidified lava. And the smallest mistake, could cause a hot volcanic eruption at home. That is how serious the situation is, when BH catches "common" cold and his nose (above mentioned as caves) is blocked!  

I had no clue whatsoever, what would turn-up the next morning. I was busy getting ready for the day and it was half past 9! I rushed to bedroom to wake BH up.. And what I saw was a gory sight which I had never witnessed before!
He was looking crest-fallen, still on the couch. BH's face had turned to a red tomato!

Me: What happened? It is already 9.30! Won't you go to office?
BH: Yeah right! You want me to go to office even when I am dying?

I was completely taken aback by that reply. "Should I call an ambulance?" I contemplated. Maybe I did not comprehend his condition properly. I just thought, he has caught cold. I immediately ran to him, sat next to him, apologized for being insensitive, pampered him and asked..

Me: What happened? What is bothering you..
BH: Bloody common cold!

I took a deep breath, and tried to gather calmness from all positive energy sources. I said I would bring him hot filter coffee, which would provide him some initial relief. He never behaved so touchy, vulnerable, emotional for 3 years now. But, he had not caught cold either. He had turned into a whining, clamorous stranger.
Few hours later, there was a man sniffing, shuffling things around, growling, using swear words with every sneeze almost sounding like "Faaack....choo".. The tissues he used were piling up to make a "bean-bag" like structure. While inhalers, wrappers of medicines were also decorating the "yuck-y" structure.

For 3 days, I bore witness to this "unofficial emergency period" at home. Common cold had caused a disaster of epic proportions which made a stalwart, chivalrous, invincible macho-man into a giant-cry-baby. And the worst experience during the emergency period was that I was not supposed to laugh at the comical drama that was unfolding. Remember volcanic eruption? I would not have been surprised if he had made a "will" in that condition or if he believed that this was the way the world would end.

Medicines, some home-made soups, steam, sleep and not to forget, some cricket did help him get back all the powers of a warrior. We were done and dusted with traversing the stony journey of his first common cold in our married life. As I was getting things ready for the day, the next morning, he was gobbling up crunchy "dosays"..

Me: How I wish.. I could ban my man, when he is bowled by cold.
BH: In the end, I ruled and you were fooled.

PS: I know about Man-flu!
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# BH # HE SAYS - SHE SAYS
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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stumped

Sunday, February 26, 2012 110 Comments

Bunni completed 2 years this month. She has started making small sentences and some times she baby talks also. She surprises us with grammatically correct sentences sometimes. The things that come out of her mouth keep me laughing for a long while. So, now conversations are two-way Indian roads. I quote here some of those experiences. Ofcourse, I have translated those conversations from Kannada to English.

Bunni: Sahana! Fill water in this jar.
Me: You should not call elders by their name.
Bunni: Gunds! Fill water in this jar

Gunds – That is how her father calls me.
Lesson : Follow the rule



Bunni: Amma, my hands are dirty. Wash. Wash. Wash.
Me: Ok. Come lets wash. (washed)
Bunni: I want to wash it myself now.
Me: Ok. Let me help you.
Bunni: But my hands are not dirty.
Me: No.. Your hands are still dirty, wash.
Bunni: Amma! Then wash my hands properly this time!!
Lesson: You lie. You eat your own words


A guest gave Bunni a real big chocolate
Me: What should you say when you get a chocolate?
Bunni: One more!
There. Down the drain, went the "Thank you" lesson I gave her umpteen times!
Lesson : Ask and you shall receive. An answer at least.


Potty time.
Bunni: Amma, I got 1-2 shits. (She had just understood numbers and counting.)
Me: (Controlling my laughter) Ok. Come let me clean you.
Bunni: But, I want '9-10...a biiiiig faaat hen' number of shits. (From the 1-2 buckle my shoe rhyme)
Now! Where should I bring that many number of uuurrrggh.. whatever!!
Lesson: Aim for the moon.


I was telling her a story from panchatantra. One of the stories which she likes, is a story of a wolf and a sheep.
Me: The wolf said, "I am old. I cannot hunt. You are an easy prey. I will eat you". And what did the sheep say?
Bunni: Byaa Byaa Byaa Byaaa..
Lesson : Keep it simple silly

She loathes sleeping. Sometimes I call out for some non-existent uncle and complain about her loudly, when she does not sleep. That works. One night.
Me: Bunni.. Close your eyes and sleep.
Bunni: I don't want to.
Me: Hey Uncle.. Come here! Take Bunni away with you.
Bunni: Uncle.. Come.. Come soon.. Take me to play swing.. Amma.. you can also come with us..
That was totally unexpected.
Lesson : Face your problems

Luckily, I am unlearning life with this bundle of joy! Such spontaneous reactions, surprises.. make my life a celebration!
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# Bunni # Motherhood
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