Friday, November 25, 2011

Does Life Change After Marriage?

Friday, November 25, 2011 91 Comments

Hell! YES! (I did not mean it changes to hell) I always ask back a rhetorical question. Is there any 'time' in your life which has not changed? 


Here, I consider marriage as living a life with a person under one roof . Some enter marriage with rose-colored glasses and some with yellow-colored glasses. Such colors prevent us appreciating the natural colors of married life. 


No phase of life is a bed of roses. I am not here to paint a beautiful picture. As I understand life, I would vouch for my childhood being the best part of life. But, come to think of it, there were problems, fights, issues which were BIG THEN. If those problems and fights looks small now, don't you think we are doing the mistake of using wrong scale of measurement? I have grown up, so have the problems. Simple. Isn't it funny to expect the problems to remain small as we grow-up into adults?




BH is an aquarian. Highly unpredictable by nature. So, I did not have any expectations from him before or after. But there were certain things which I had to make a mental note of, once I started actually living with him.




1. How many ever times you meet a person before marriage, you do not know the person fully. Because, when you meet your beloved for a few hours, we try make that 'happy-time'. I do not call that pretense. (natural behavior to avoid pre-tensions). After marriage, you get to see the real people. So, there will be many bitter-sweet occasions. 


2. There maybe many irritating habits (irritating to YOU) which you might not have not noticed, like snoring like a bear, wearing not-so-soiled clothes, drinking bed-coffee without brushing teeth etc. etc. You may feel that you cannot tolerate, but slowly mind starts accepting the person along with manufacturing defects.


3. No frequent telephone calls, sms-es, lesser kuchhie-mucchiee conversations DOES NOT mean that "you are taken for granted". It just means now your beloved has the privilege to be himself/herself. And that is a luxury! Accept him or her that way.


4. There WILL be fights and arguments. There has to be. Two different people, different ideas, different thoughts, different way of looking at things will end up having an argument sooner or later. But, as long as you do not get vindictive it is good. Arguing objectively will solve the current problem and deepen the understanding. Let the past ghosts remain in the haunted houses. 


5. If you think you-two will be "two-body-one-soul", I am sorry to disappoint you, it will not be so. It is a fancy idea to think so. But, later at some point in time you will realize you have lost yourself trying to believe this thought. Couple should complement one another. Differ yet prefer. Celebrate the differences.


Change is eternal. Such things make life unpredictable, exciting and challenging. Let us face it rather than cribbing about "How life changed after marriage :("
Continue reading...
# BH # MY TWO CENTS
on 91 comments: quickedit quickedit
Labels: ,

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Dharma and Karma

Wednesday, November 16, 2011 56 Comments

Two incidents on twitter made me write this post here.


Incident 1


It was 12.37 AM in the night, BH read a tweet and said "Sh*t! Someone is in great pain and trouble. Lets see how we can help out and ran out of the room." He looked concerned. I ensured Bunni is in deep sleep and closed the door behind me to understand what the matter was. BH showed me these tweets.
He looked for highway police-station numbers in Rajkot, many other police stations numbers in Rajkot. None of the numbers on the net were CORRECT! Damn! While there were other tweeples who were skeptical about this incident. There were many tweets going around. Like why is he trying to reach people on twitter instead of calling family and friends? How is he tweeting with that kind-of injury etc. etc.


BH cared about none. He tried reaching out to people who were into media, he thought that would garner some help. While few people on his time-line said, that it is a fake-accident and you  are wasting time, energy and sleep by thinking of helping him. BH said "We should not miss wood for trees. What if he really needs some help? If he is faking, it is his karma. I will do what I can, that is dharma." I nodded. 
By that time, we saw more tweets on the timeline of the victim.
"Ah. Someone helps. I could not have slept on such things. Come lets sleep." 


We slept. Next day, he completely forgot. I kept track of this incident. There was a person who believed this was a fake accident. He worked day and night to find out a few things. And tweets from Ramesh Solanki, Mumbai Secretary, and Gujarat Rajya Sampark Pramukh BVS/SHIVSENA cleared much of the doubts. Here is the snap shot.
I was shocked! Why would someone raise such false alarms?  Just for some attention? Followers? (Ofcourse, his follower count raised from 93 to 270 during that incident.) But, I really wanted to believe that the world is naive. 


Many people including BH had called 100 and 108 to reach out to this "supposed" victim. Complaint has been lodged to the cyber police with some proofs and official reports by a person on Twitter. I told BH the whole story when he came back.


BH: As he sows, so shall he reap. Why bother?
Me: Will you help someone like this again after knowing this? 
BH: Yes. Certainly. There are 100s of requests for blood. I RT (Retweet - Twitter lingo - a form of sharing in twitter.) them faithfully, if mine does not match. I have known people personally who have really wanted help. So, I will do my bit by sharing. What happens next, is left to their destiny.


So, this matter did end. For us at least. 


Incident 2


18 year old high school student Ashley Billasano tweeted 144 times, in the span of 6 hours before commiting suicide. She had 500 followers! NONE took her seriously?! I do not know the handle of the girl, to paste the tweets. I read this article online. You can read it here. 
Why did nobody help her? If people like Sachin raise false SOS calls. Many would ignore such tweets. Probably. 


In the ending note, world is a curious mixture of people. So, difficult to take a call on social responsibilities.
Continue reading...
# MY TWO CENTS
on 56 comments: quickedit quickedit
Labels:

Thursday, November 3, 2011

See-Yeff-Yell

Thursday, November 03, 2011 72 Comments
We recently moved to Aamchi Pune from Namma Bengaluru. So, setting-up a new home and settling down kept me away from the blogger world for quite a long time. Please excuse me if I have missed reading your posts or commenting. 

I joined BH who was in Pune from a month, on Thursday with Bunni. The task of making a home from a house began immediately. There was a socket near the dining area whose CFL had burnt out. We had a spare CFL. I asked BH to fix that for me. He said "I'll take care of it during the weekend. You don't worry"

Saturday: After many subtle reminders, brazen hints and hard-to-miss cues the job was not done by the procrastinator (read here)
Sunday: I fixed the CFL. 

He is such a calm and composed person, evoking reaction from him would be a real-time achievement for me. I thought, "Let me make this BIG" *wink*


How I changed the CFL? BU.HA.HA.
He remained glued to the laptop. The ladder stood proudly in proximity to the changing point, still I dragged the metallic ladder by its leg till the room he was in, with kRRRRR... screeeeeeech noises and then back to the point.
AND THEN...............
Every other sentence I used that day, I made sure I conveyed the message that I did HIS work. For that, I had to use a mix of creative juices with shots of sarcasm.

2.00 PM - during lunch
BH: (munching away)I'd do anything for a wife who cooks such luscious rasam and curry with hot-soft rice, it is heavenly.
Me: Good. Your wife couldn't have got the appropriate ingredients in the masala if the CFL that "I" (stressed) changed hadn't helped.

4.30 PM - after snacks
BH: I think we should call a plumber soon. The water-pressure in the tap is very low. 
Me: Ah.. Now I know.. That stupid CFL was not lighting up because electricity for that point was not generated due to the low-water pressure?!

5.45 PM - Watching TV
BH: XYZ mutual fund looks a good bet for investment this month. The NAV is expected to rise steeply.
Me: There is another company ABC which manufactures the CFL I changed this afternoon. Stocks of that company are also expected to see a rise in value.

At the end of all these conversations, I looked like a cat that swallowed a canary and he looked like a bird from "angry birds". A silent angry bird I should say. But, I was hungry for more. I had not got any verbal reaction from his side.

Finally at 9.15 PM - Reading newspaper
Talking about some teenagers love story which appeared in the news paper,
BH:  .....and she fell for him..
Me: Whaaat? C F elL for him also?
BH: THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

He rolled the news paper to hit me. I ran giggling away as he chased me till I almost closed the door behind me. He caught me, threw the newspaper down and tickled the hell out of me. GOSH!! I was laughing like a jackass!
Continue reading...
# BH # HE SAYS - SHE SAYS
on 72 comments: quickedit quickedit
Labels: ,

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Prenatal Yoga

Thursday, October 20, 2011 52 Comments
When I got to know about a contest in Women's Web on Passport To A Healthy Pregnancy, I decided to plunge in. Writing about that delightful chapter of my life is a gratification by itself.


That unfortunate moment you announce your pregnancy to the world, monsoon sets in for the next few months for the mom-soon (person who will moan-soon). Why? It will be raining with wanted/unwanted information, advices and suggestions from ….ahh probably you cannot guess that. (Advices have come in public places as well!) I would use smile-and-nod umbrella. 

The ante-natal class I attended with BH helped me get complete information on the journey to create life. The obstetrician and her team conducted this class for us. Many mis’conception’s  about pregnancy were wiped-off. One important factor which helped me physically, emotionally and mentally was YOGA!

Healthy body, mind and attitude of the mother are critical for the growth and development of the baby. Yoga helped me achieve all these with ease. The first thing that registered in the mind was ‘Pregnancy is not a disease; it is the time to say Cheeese!’  I resolved to give the best I could do, for my baby to develop and grow in my-own-cocoon.

Physically
o        9 whole months of pregnancy is all about wait and weight. (Don’t you think so?)
o       I did not gain more weight than required.
Image: 123rf
o        The asanas helped me keep myself flexible, and tone up my reproductive muscles to put up with the stretch and changes (The uterus grows almost 500–1,000 times its normal size – ouch! Other organs, bones and muscles need to accommodate the change right?)
o        Some exercises did help me loosen the pelvic floor muscles which was supposed to mitigate the pain during the labor.(read here) (if that pain was LESS!)
o        Asanas were the astras (weapons) I used to beat the common discomforts like backache, swollen legs, calf-muscle cramps, gastritis and many more. 

Emotionally
Image: DepositPhotos
o       In this go-go-go world, when worries, tensions, apprehensions are so common. Meditation was a real stress-buster.
o       Breathing techniques helped me during the labor to concentrate on the rolling out the red carpet for my baby rather than the pain (*Inner voice* ‘Big deal!, She rolled on a  red carpet like thing inside too’.) 

Mentally
o        I have read some where that, excruciating labour pain is akin to 40 fractures on a single spot, at the same time. The most important preparatory factor in facing up to this pain is ‘Inner-Peace’, which is bolstered by meditation and yoga. (Yoga to bear pain? Did you remember Yogi Bear-cartoon? Meee too.. :P)
Image: RealBollywood
o       It is a huge reprieve from fear and anxiety that we face during pregnancy.

My two cents finally (or four I should say)
o       Say yes to Meditation, you may avoid Medication
o       Yoga during pregnancy? YO! Ga-Ga over it!
o       Don’t eat for two, it is too-much! (Remember the size of baby, rather its’ stomach)
o       Go to a professional trainer. Do not experiment yourself.


Yoga is indeed the 'passport' to healthy pregnancy, helps the baby to 'pass' through the 'port' without a hitch (*wink wink* )

PS: I believe being mother is just a ‘state of mind’ for any woman. Just physically bearing child does not make any woman complete.

Continue reading...
# MY TWO CENTS # Pregnancy
on 52 comments: quickedit quickedit
Labels: ,

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

War of words

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 89 Comments


After a long time, it was one fateful day; I won the war-of-words with BH. He is extremely witty and hence funny most of the times. Winning the war-of-words with him is actually like winning a World level debate competition for me. And all happened on the same day!

Kissing the trophy and holding out the trophy in my hand, let me present you the 4 episodes which led me to the victory!

Step - 1
I was extremely upset with his joyful comment on a sensitive topic and then…

BH: Why do you take things seriously?
Me: I can’t be light hearted all the time.
BH: Oh yeah right.. Women after marriage become heavy, so does the heart..
Me: He he. Very funny
BH:  LOL.. LOL.. Even you agreed when you laughed. You should have laughed saying ‘She-She’ why did you choose ‘He-He’?
Me: That’s because the joke was bad!


And the next - 2
He stopped as he walked past the mirror, smiled and..

BH: Don’t you think you are very lucky? Whenever, I see my reflection I feel that.
Me: Ahh! Stop using my eyes as mirror. You will forget the whole world!

Ahh almost there - 3
Rarely does he brag. But, this was one of the rarest of the times..

BH: People like me wherever I go. Everyone in college knew me. I had female fan following also. People came to me; in fact they still come to me with their problems, I could solve their problem just like that.
Me: Ok. Ok. Cool. Sit down. Go back to your memories of third standard science lessons. The earth revolves round the sun, not you!

Final Blow - 4
Back from office, after a hectic day, both of us had missed out on the days’ happenings. We switched on the news channel to know the news. And after few minutes,

BH: This paid media! Never give the exact news, they give their opinions. All of them are biased!
Me:  Hmm.. I was just wondering.. Isn’t everyone bi-ass-ed?

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||SCREEN CLOSES|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||


With ROARING Applause in the background, I humbly utter “Thank you, Thank you!” 
Continue reading...
# HE SAYS - SHE SAYS # LAUGH TRACK
on 89 comments: quickedit quickedit
Labels: ,